


If I Should Ever

by bananasandroses (achuislemochroi)



Series: Whofic [50]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 2X03 (School Reunion), F/M, Tenth Doctor Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-09 00:56:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3230126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achuislemochroi/pseuds/bananasandroses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If I should ever leave you, would you speak of me again – or commit my face to memory, and never think my name?</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Should Ever

When it came, it seemed – like this sort of question always does – to come from nowhere.

“Would you talk to others about me, Doctor? If I were to leave – to go back to everything I left when I came with you – would you tell the people that came after me about me?”

That threw him for a loop. Where did this sudden seeming desire to go home come from?

He hoped she wasn’t serious. Although his answer, when it came, was in his usual composed voice he was aware of at least a hint of panic in its tone; he was sure she could hear it, too. 

“Is this a rhetorical question, Rose, or are you trying to tell me something?”

Rose frowned.

“What does rhe-” She stopped, stumbling on the unfamiliar word. “What does ... what does that word _mean_ , exactly?”

“Means you're asking a question to which you probably already know the answer, but that's not important right now; Rose, do you want to go home? Is that the reason for these questions?”

“You know,” Rose said, seeming to go off on a tangent, “before we met Sarah Jane, you never spoke about any of your companions before me – yes, I know, you said how we _wither_ and we _die_ , and how horrible and painful it is to watch that happen to someone who you care about – I’m assuming that was what you were going to say when you cut yourself off?” He wouldn’t look at her, let alone answer. “But if they leave you when they're still alive – do you ever go back to see them, by the way, or do you just _leave_ them? – what’s to stop you from talking about them later?” 

Rose was not the only person capable of ignoring a question they didn't want to answer. Maybe if he ignored the question, she’d drop it. He didn’t want to have this conversation, yet; he wasn’t ready – what if he ended up blurting out the truth and she didn’t want to know, asked to go home for real this time?

“You never did answer my question, did you, Rose? Whether you wanted to go home; I mean, if you've had enough you could just tell me; I'm not some kind of ogre, I'll not eat you ... OW!” 

Rose had suddenly lost her patience and with it her temper, and like her mother before him had slapped the Doctor in the face. 

“What was _that_ for?” Looking at her at last, he saw she was almost spitting with fury. He waited for her to answer, anticipating anger, but the pain he also heard in her voice when her answer came – for once, in this unwanted conversation, a straight answer to a straight question – piqued his interest. 

Why would Rose be hurting?

“Right after we met Sarah Jane, you told me I was different, that you would never leave me behind – and I assumed you meant that, if I left you, you'd mention me once in a while ... but obviously I've that wrong. I've been to the ends of the world with you, and loved every second of it; I wouldn't have changed it for anything - but this... now this is _really_ seeing things as they are. You just leave us behind. _You just leave us behind_ , and then ... you never even mention us. Why not?”

“Rose ...”

“ _Why not_?”

It seemed he’d have to tell her after all, or lose her entirely. He sighed, and rubbed his hands over his face before turning to face her.

“All right, Rose. You want to know why not? I'll tell you.” And he started to speak.


End file.
